he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
