There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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