Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
