I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
