Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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