I need help removing her.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
