plz talk dirty to me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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