Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
