i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
