i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
