no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My liver just had a heart attack.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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