wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
