no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
