Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
