its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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