I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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