i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
no you cant smoke seaweed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
