People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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