I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
