hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
