You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
