absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
