Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
