Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
