What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
sex in a hospital.. check
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
