Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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