how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
