i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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