Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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