maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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