if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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