like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
