It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
