My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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