I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
