physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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