If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
