id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
