I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
