Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
