guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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