The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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