god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
