Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
