Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
