I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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