no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
