I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
