just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I deserve to be covered in dicks
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
