I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
