Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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