for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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