I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
