I didn't shave. On purpose
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
