You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
