My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
