I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
